So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
