so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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