I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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