so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
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My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
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I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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