Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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