No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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