I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
