planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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