My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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