break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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