Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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