This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
