Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
