someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
