It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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