You're a womanizer and a bitch.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
