If that was your dad, he is hot
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
