would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize