A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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