im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
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it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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