My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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