its not stalking. its research.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
