You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
