who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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