So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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