dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
