Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
