i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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