your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
