Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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