from now on my penis is your penis
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
