I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
