There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
