R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
