Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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