Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
