please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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