i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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