I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize