I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
