i jhust puked up my retainher.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
