North Korea, Best Korea!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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