fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
