I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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