apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
