Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
