we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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