It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
