ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
