Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My sheets look like a crime scene.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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