i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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