I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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