I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
