Are we in a gay sports bar?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
