I could make wine with my vomit
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize