I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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