I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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