Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
