i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we're making bets on your personal life
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
