I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
