I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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