Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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