I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
