We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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