wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
