Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
